The first step is to give myself permission and that would mean
accepting of the emotion, accepting that is difficult, accepting reality.
接受这样的感情 接受这个困境 接受现实
Something just happened; there is nothing I can do about what had just happened.
What can change is perhaps my interpretation of what had happened which is where I get to the next level.
The next step. And this is reframing, interpreting the situation as Positive.
到下一步 也就是重建 将情况诠释为积极的
And that would be the benefit finder.
What's the silver lining here? What is the growth opportunity here?
So if I am going through a very difficult time,
perhaps look at it through the Buddhist perspective and say,
"well, this is a tool for growth; this will help me better understand myself as well as others,
“这是成长的工具 这可以帮助我更好地了解自己 了解他人
become a better psychologist, become a better business person, whatever it is.
成为一个更好的心理学家 成为一个更好的商人 诸如此类
Seeing it again, the silver lining, the opportunity in failure.
And finally, one very important technique that we didn't talk about much,
just in passing, is distracting, distraction; is looking toward other place.
就粗略提到过的 就是分心 将注意力转向别处
It's not always good. In fact, we will talk about next time it's sometimes
这不一定是件好事 我们下节课会讲到 有时
detrimental to stay and analyze every single emotion, feeling, thought that comes up.
Ruminating in and of itself does not always help.
Sometimes the best thing to do is when a negative thought comes up,
or a negative feeling comes up is to distract ourselves from it by,
for example, going to listen to a piece of music, going for a run,
比如说 听听音乐 跑个步
talking to someone either about that or something else.